Friday, December 03, 2004

Veer Zaara, a review from India

I watched Veer Zaara recently. It is sort of like DDLJ, except the guy in Indian, the babe is pakistani and they run around Punjab instead of running around Europe.
Here be spoilers..

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;

Oh, wait, that's Romeo and Juliet. Veer Zaara is totally, completely, utterly different from every other love story ever created, of course.

Movie starts in Pakistan.

Rani Mukerji is a lawyer who wants to free Shah Rukh Khan who is an Indian prisoner in jail. SRK initially refuses to talk to her, then realises that he has a soft-spot for good looking pakistani women and opens up...
zoinzoinzoin, Flashback.
22 years ago..

SRK is a squadron leader of a rescue 'copter squadron in the IAF. He sings a song.

Preity Zinta is a babe in Lahore. She sings a song. Everyone in Pakistan sings and it rains all the time. The ones that dont sing speak in an impenetrable punjabi accent.

PZ's grandma dies and requests (before dying of course) that her ashes be immersed in Punjab. PZ hops over to India, gets in a bus accident, is rescued by SRK and who then proceeds to help her immerse the ashes.
Everyone in India sings and those that don't speak in an impenetrable punjabi accent. PZ makes deep observation (during the course of a song) that 'your country is just like mine'. You bet! Both countries love ridiculous bollywood movies and both countries want kashmir.

SRK takes PZ to his ancestral home where we discover that Amitabh Bacchan and Hemamalini are his foster parents. A&H live in the same house that was used for Pardes. Again, everyone sings and dances. A gives some advice to SRK involving women and bicycles which totally escaped me (the theater had a really bad sound system and there was that punjabi accent again). Oh, and SRK is all over Preity all the time, of course.

SRK goes to drop off Preity at the train station where her fiance has come over to pick her up. Preity had forgotten to tell him anything about the engagement. In Tamil, we call it 'giving alva'. In Hindi, it is called KLPD. I guess it is hard to introduce that topic in the middle of all the singing and dancing. SRK wishes her the best of luck.

After going back, PZ decides that she loves SRK more than her fiance. SRK gets the news, goes to Pakistan and they embrace at a durgah in the rain in front of the two families. In case you were wondering, there is a song going on in the background, since, as we all know by now, everyone in Pakistan sings.

PZ's dad faints, Pz's mom comes to SRK and asks him to leave her daughter alone, because her dad would surely die if she were to marry SRK. SRK obliges, tells PZ something about duty and asks her to marry the fiance. Then, on his way back, the fiance gets SRK arrested and puts him behind bars on trumped up charges.
Present day.

Does Rani manage to free SRK? Will the lovers unite? Do we care?The answers are yes, yes, and no.

The morals of the story are

- Everyone in Pakistan sings, everyone in India sings. Therefore we are alike.
- If you plan to declare your undying love to a girl before her marriage, it is advisable to do it out of sight of her fiance and his family.